Benco vs Blogger

Where am I blogging now?

2009-11-05T11:26:00.000-08:00

I am currently blogging at blog.bentonbarnett.com. And since I have complete control over that URL, you should haven't to check any more new URL's after that.

Cool.

I have a new blog.

2008-01-23T20:24:00.001-08:00

I have a new blog. You should check it out. It's called What We Must. Cool.

PlayRadioPlay! - Frequency EP; A Review in Six Words

2007-05-21T10:46:00.000-07:00

Naive pop isn't catchy, has substance.

Four Stars

Benco - A broken heart can be mended but regret lasts forever.

2007-05-07T15:49:00.000-07:00

This song is currently going under some major changes, but I thought I'd post this version to let you see how it's going.

Benco - A broken heart can be mended but regret lasts forever.

Benco - I can't stand another lonely sunset without you.

2007-04-30T11:37:00.000-07:00

If theres one thing I love it's pretentious song titles.

Last week I posted a remix of the song I'm posting today. This song is mellow and a little bit sad.

Benco - I can't stand another lonely sunset without you.

Benco - A Lonely Sunset (Benco Rock Remix)

2007-04-24T19:25:00.000-07:00

So this is a fun song. The original version was a real weepy number so I decided to rock it up a little. This song is powerful. I'm still deciding if I should add lyrics or not.

Benco - A Lonely Sunset

Benco - Whats a Benco Gonna Do with Cobol

2007-04-20T15:07:00.000-07:00

This is the last song off my EP "This is the New Sound" and probably my most popular song.

HERE IS A STORY ABOUT THE LYRICS: I didn't write them. Some kid on the internet named Zamros did. It used to read "What's a nigga gonna do with cobol" but I changed it because I didn't feel comfortable dropping the N bomb in a room full of strangers, even as a joke. SO the song became "What's a Benco gonna do with cobol" and is about how I don't need to learn cobol or go to collage because that shit is straight up useless.

So I later dropped out of collage and got a job as a bank teller. A corporate position opened up to do programming for the bank instead of being a teller. I applied for the position but didn't get the it because I didn't know cobol. Irony at it's best!

Here is the song. The vocals are awful and old and I hate the backing. Enjoy!

Benco - Whats a Benco Gonna Do with Cobol

Benco - Banjo Dumpster Hodown

2007-04-19T11:01:00.000-07:00

I don't like this song. This was one of the first songs I wrote and it's just awful. I'm posting it here for completeness.

I wrote this song for one of the first shows I ever played at The Modified. The promoter listed me on the modified website as "Benco: beats from the deepest darkest dumpster" so I thought it'd be funny to perform a song with his rather odd description as the chorus. It wasn't very funny.

I remade it in 2004, but I think I just made it worse.

Benco - Banjo Dumpster Hodown

Benco - Bedroom Eyes

2007-04-18T14:32:00.000-07:00

This song is a classic. I wrote it in 2002 on a QY70. I think in 2004 I re-recorded the song on my alesis micron. I'm really happy with how this turned out. This used to be one of the staples of my live show, but I haven't played it since december 2005.

Benco - Bedroom Eyes

Benco - This is the New Sound

2007-04-17T14:53:00.000-07:00

The title track! Each day this week I'll be posting a song from my EP "This is the New Sound." These are songs from 2004 and into 2005.

This was a super fun track that I wrote and produced all in one sitting. This is rare for me! Looking back, I would touch up a lot of things, but whatever. This is a super upbeat instrumental track. Sometime I use this for sound checks.

If I had to decide on one "sound" to represent me as a musician I'd pick this. It's fun, light hearted and full of energy. Why don't I write music like this more often?

Benco - This is the New Sound

Benco - Sleazy Party

2007-04-16T14:43:00.000-07:00

So each day this week I'll be posting a song from my old EP "This is the New Sound." It's not really an EP since it was never printed, but these are the songs I was playing from late 2004 and into 2005. All the songs on this album were written on the QY70 and produced on an Alesis Micron.

The first song is Sleazy Party. It is a true story. The sleazy party took place after a show I played with Houston Bernard, Bark Bark Bark and Ryo Vs. M.Bison. Since the party was at my house there was no way I could have avoided it, thus the chorus.

So, without further ado: Why did I go to such a sleazy party? I had to.

Benco - Sleazy Party

Recent Music Roundup

2007-04-13T20:43:00.000-07:00

So I've posted a fair number of songs up here, and I'm going to give you a rundown of some of the highlights:

Benco - Around the World (NES Fiasco)
Benco - I Played at Daft Punk's House
Benco - Gabber Died Twelve Years Ago
Benco - (We've Had) All The Best Parties
Benco - (You're a) Pink Skirt
Benco - Banjo in the Key of C

And last is my favorite song I've posted here. If you only listen to one of my songs all the way through, make it this one.
Centerfold - Going Out Alone

Benco - Banjo in the Key of C

2007-04-11T16:26:00.000-07:00

So I was playing around with chord structures and this high energy song came out. I'm a little iffy on the arrangement of this one, and there's an IDM breakdown in the middle that should probably be stripped down some. BUT WHATEVER!

Benco - Banjo in the Key of C

There aren't any lyrics. YET.

Centerfold - Going Out Alone (Benco Rock Remix)

2007-04-08T11:27:00.000-07:00

Today I bring you a remix I did of Going Out Alone. As much as I love the long drawn out original version I also love compact pop songs. Are you ready for fake guitars and too much distortion? I hope you are, because this is a rock remix!

Centerfold - Going Out Alone (Benco Rock Remix)

Diagram of a Blog

2007-04-05T10:38:00.000-07:00

The New York Times posted this diagram of a blog. I noticed a factual error so I'm offering them this correction:

Centerfold - Going Out Alone

2007-04-02T13:21:00.000-07:00

Ever write a song that is so sappy and saccharine sweet that you have to stretch it out as much as possible? This is one of those songs. It's dedicated to all those times your friends bail on you and your left hittin' da club alone. If I was going to release a single, this would be it.

Centerfold - Going Out Alone

I don't need you.
I don't need you.
I don't really think I need you.
I'm going out alone.

Zodiac: A Six Word Review

2007-03-30T16:24:00.000-07:00

Biggest case of blue balls, ever.

Two Stars.

Benco - Copy Editors

2007-03-27T11:33:00.000-07:00

So last night I got drunk at a bar and challenged Lore Sjoberg, via Twitter, to see who could write the better song. Well, I tried to at least. I never actually challenged him, if you want to get technical about this. Either Twitter dropped a few of my messages or I sent them to the wrong address or I only think I sent them because I was in a diabetic coma brought on by sugar, vodka and fresh squeezed lemons. It's hard to say.

The point is, I wrote a song about copy editors:

Benco - Copy Editors

You took my story and you stole it's meaning,
I left it there for the readers gleaning.
You destroyed it on my lunch break,
and left the filler in it's wake.

Did you not think those words were arranged,
to create an atmosphere purposely deranged.
I killed myself to write this piece,
and couldn't you just at least,

leave the line about the possum,
because that line was fucking awesome.
Oh wait, what were you going to say?
Oh. I see. Never mind, that's OK.

It should probably be stated that, while drunk, copy editors and regular editors seem very similar, if not interchangeable. I hope I don't get disqualified from my own imaginary dual because of this.

Finally, a post about Twitter.

2007-03-22T12:49:00.000-07:00

Every single attempt I'm made at explaining Twitter has failed. Spectacularly. I'm not going to try to explain it here. I have an account, it doesn't make any god damned sense and I love it anyways.

Benco's Twitters.

Benco - I Played at Daft Punk's House

2007-03-14T11:17:00.000-07:00

I've gotten a lot of positive response from the "Song for Shanna" I posted the other day so I decided to post the instrumental and expanded version of the song. It clocks in at nearly 3 minutes, which longer then my songs normally go. Hopefully that extra minute will make up for the fact that it has no lyrics! Here's hoping!

Benco - I Played at Daft Punks House

Benco - Song for Shanna

2007-03-14T10:40:00.000-07:00

Here is a short little song I wrote for my friend Shanna's birthday party. Sorry the recording quality is so poor, I recorded the lyrics in one go because I was in a bit of a hurry.

The song is based off a real life conversation we had so there's a lot of inside jokes going on here. Things you should know: Club Portland is a gay bathhouse that was a few blocks away from where we were eating at the time. Me and Shanna decided it would probably be a good idea to sneak her in. Why? I don't know.

Also, Diego is the name of her cat.

Benco - Song for Shanna

And the lyrics:

Me and Shanna were at virginia cafe.
Talkin' bout club portland 'cuz that place is gay.
That crazy broad really got to thinkin'
me and her could probably sneak in.

thats when we pulled out the ace bandage.
wrapped her boobs up tight as a deli sandwich.
I gave her a baseball cap.
and stuck a sock down where she got the clap.

they stopped us at the door and said "can't you see?
we have a strict no pussy policy"
Sorry Shanna, Diego can't come
now lets go and have some fun.

On the inside it's a creepo convention
so Shanna got everyone's attention.
"Ha!" She said "You've all been fooled,
You guys totally thought I was a dude"

Benco - Mario Underwater Theme

2007-03-03T14:59:00.000-08:00

Sorry that I didn't update with any songs this week. To make it up to you, here's 2 MP3's. They're both renditions of the Mario Underwater theme.

First up is the slow one. I would just like to say that Philip Glass ain't got shit on me. This runs at 10 BPM and, I think, if very soothing. If you listen to it on good enough speakers you'll notice a lot of interplay between the bass sounds.

Benco - Mario Underwater Theme (slow)

However, if you're like me and think that all music is too slow here's the fast version. It runs at 180 BPM and ends in roughly 33 seconds.

Benco - Mario Underwater Theme (fast)

Benco - Gabber Died Twelve Years Ago

2007-02-25T11:28:00.000-08:00

Before we get down to todays MP3: I got a decent Last.fm page! I uploaded my 2006 Demo so maybe it will stream on Last.fm radio stations?

Today's song is a short little number that (once again) expresses my disinterest with the club scene. This seems to be a common theme lyrically. Gabber Died Twelve Years Ago follows the narrator as he realizes that he's been going to all these parties all these years trying to relive a feeling he once had and that every party is just people and that it doesn't matter if it's different music, different faces or different drugs. They're all just people at parties and it's going to be the same.

Gabber is a type techno music with a distorted kick and really high tempos. It's essentially the punk rock of techno. Gabber hit it's peak in the mid 1990's before falling (even further?) into the underground, thus 'Gabber Died Twelve Years Ago.' The song also references Kandy, those colorful beaded bracelets ravers used to run around wearing. This song is not Gabber.

THAT WAS A LONG POST! Here's the MP3:

Benco - Gabber Died Twelve Years Ago

Gabber died twelve years ago
your stupid kandy has got to go
and Gabber died twelve years ago
and techno music has gotten so old

The rave scene died years ago
your music collection has got to go
The rave scene died years ago
and you'll die before it's retro

you went to desert raves
with kandy kids
and did the drugs
that the law forbids

Now you're at
a warehouse party
hearing punk rock and
drinking bacardi

but is it really
all that different?
sitting around while
your friends get fucked up

but is it really
all that different?
'cause your new friends are
really fucked up

Freezepop - Boys on Film (Benco Broke His NES RMX)

2007-02-23T12:19:00.000-08:00

This is a remix I did for a contest put on by Freezepop. While this entry didn't officially rank, it was given special mention and featured on their myspace page. Also, the Duke gave me an analysis of the song that I found very helpful and provided a lot of direction on production of future tracks.

In retrospect, I'm not happy with this track. It was very rushed. If I had had more time I would have completely rearranged the song and increased the tempo. For some silly reason I remixed the song down to 90 bpm when the original was 180 bpm. I also would have cut a lot of the song and stuck to a more verse chorus verse structure.

Anyways, here it is, imperfect and bumbling.

Freezepop - Boys on Film (Benco Broke His NES RMX)

Benco - (We've Had) All The Best Parties

2007-02-18T17:18:00.000-08:00

I'm really happy with how this song turned out, both musically and lyrically. It's an old IDM song I wrote back in 2004 and recently re-produced and wrote lyrics for. Lyrically, this is a prime example of what I strive for. It's fun, poppy but not entirely stupid.

Anyways, hit the link to download it.

Benco - (We've Had) All The Best Parties

Here are the lyrics:

Are kids in the clubs
really so lost?
They're only 21
and getting Botox.
They lost their souls
in their late 13's
When their parents gave them
their fake ID's

They're jaded, they're hated
and they own the scene
They can't handle the scandle
of why they look so lean
They're hipsters and scenesters
and go-go dancers
but they wont give me any goddamned answers!

We have
All the best parties (x2)
We have
All the best parties (x2)

It's not the tattoos or lyrics
or fleeting fashions
They say they're artists
but show no action
act so big and
talk so tall but
they hang out in dance clubs
and dance in the hall.

Benco - Turmoil Doesn't Even Begin to Describe it

2007-02-15T19:25:00.000-08:00

Here's a lo-fi tune I churned out one day. The idea behind it was to have a song with ramping quality. It starts with really lo-fi synths and builds into, what I think, is a really pretty song. Also, the whole thing sounds really conflicted, which I love.

Benco - Turmoil Doesn't Even Begin to Describe it

Centerfold - Ballad of an O.C. Housewife

2007-02-12T13:52:00.000-08:00

This is an interesting song I wrote in response to Kelly's Shoes video on youtube. Basically, we wanted to follow the same format but make it about something legitimately sad.

Musically, I'm not entirely happy with it. I was going for a minimal Timberland-esque sound but I think it just came off as silly. Anyways, here it is for your enjoyment:

Centerfold - Ballad of an O.C. Housewife

(You're a) Pink Skirt

2007-02-11T16:23:00.000-08:00

I realized today that I should be updating this daily with songs I'm working on. Or something. First up is the song "(You're a) Pink Skirt" off my '06 demo. Here is is for your enjoyment:

Benco - (You're a) Pink Skirt

And here are the lyrics:

You stood at the door
like a flower with a stem
wide eyed and wonderful
you couldn't take it all in

pressed against the wall
like a flower in a book
I'll fold you up and take you home
and treat you like a jerk

You're a pink skirt
on a little boy
You're a huge flirt
I'll be your toy

You're a pink skirt
and a little coy
I'll make you hurt
while you destroy

You step right in
like a girl
in a garden

I look away
like a boy
with a hard on

But you don't blink
you walk right up
like a waitress
order's up

you stared so deeply
into my eyes
I couldn't wait
to tell my lies

I woke up screaming
sticky like nearly dried paint
You had to leave
now I'm feeling a little bit faint

You weren't honest
but I was downright deceiving
And who's surprised
to see you're the one leaving

NES Mashup

2007-01-13T17:57:00.000-08:00

So out of amazing boredom I tried to mash-up Around the World by Daft Punk and Around the World by ATC. The result is an epic 7 minutes long 8bit masterpiece. Lo-fi doesn't get any lower then this.

Benco - Around the World (NES Fiasco)

Squiggle Darling and Lobsterella: A Children's Cartoon Show

2007-01-12T20:03:00.000-08:00

Here is the pilot script for Squiggle Darling and Lobsterella: A Children's Cartoon Show. Enjoy.

Establishing Shot: A yellow house is perched atop a green hill. A Cheerful tune plays. We see Squiggle Darling approach the house and enter the door.

Cut to: House interior. Lobsterella lays in the middle living room and is rendered as a realistic lobster. Squiggle Darling enters stage left and removes her backpack.

Squiggle Darling (visibly upset): I'm home from school.

Lobsterella (suddenly animated): I'm knitting!

Squiggle Darling (excited): Let explore!

Lobsterella: Ok!

Lobsterella does a loop-d-loop and flies to the door on stage right. She opens the door to reveal yet another door behind it.

Lobsterella: A door behind a door!

Squiggle Darling: Alllllllriiiight!

Squiggle Darling leaps into the door and is absorbed by it. Lobsterella follows behind.

Dissolve to: View of particles at sub-atomic level. Squiggle darling floats around and is seemingly amused. She is dancing.

Lobsterella pops into existence wearing a sombrero and tiny ankle boots.

Lobsterella: Where are we?

Squiggle Darling: A vacuum!

Lobsterella: Acoustic!

Camera Pans and zooms into an neutron to reveal a tiny kingdom. A king is hanging out of the window of the castle. The king is too large to fit in the castle.

King (yelling): Heeeeeeeelp!

Camera pan's back to Squiggle Darling and Lobsterella. As the camera pans the voice becomes higher and higher pitched.

Squiggle Darling (spoken while applying fresh coat of lipstick): We have to help them!

Squiggle Darling smacks her lips together and floats down to the neutron.

Lobsterella: Samba De Ion!

Cut To: Window on Castle. The over sized King sits inside the room. Squiggle Darling and Lobsterella float down and softly land on the window sill. They are several times smaller then the over sized king.

Squiggle Darling: What seems to be the matter Over Sized Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing?

While pronouncing the elongated king Squiggle Darlings mouth enlarges so much that a new head appears, also pronouncing the elongated king. The old head disappears off screen.

Over Sized King: My one and only daughter has been kidnapped! She has been taken to one of the two down quarks on this neutron!

Lobsterella: Le petite Tragedy!

Squiggle Darling (while slowly spinning with arms out): Oh brave king! What does your daughter look like?

Over Sized King: Like so.

The over sized king opens his mouth and the camera zooms in to his uvula, which is actually the princesses face. Two electrons orbit his uvula. The princess closes her eyes and sings a lovely song. The camera zooms further into one of those electrons to reveal the very same castle and zooms further still until we see the over sized king and Squiggle Darling on the window sill.

Squiggle Darling: Lets save some princess!

Squiggle darling mounts Lobsterella like a horse and they both fly off leaving a trail of rainbows behind them. The camera zooms out revealing 2 quarks and a wine cork. One quark is blue with an arrow facing up. The other is black with an arrow facing down. They fly to the wine cork.

Cut to: Cork landscape. Corkscrews and wine bottles create the foliage. The sun is a giant grape. Squiggle Darling and Lobsterella crash onto the surface. Lobsterella tumbles several times but remains smiling. Squiggle Darling floats down and lands slowly.

Squiggle Darling: Oof!

Lobsterella: Are you frogs?

Camera pans down to reveal a group of frogs.

Squiggle Darling: I love frogs!

Squiggle Darling does a slow motion somersault as a sound effect plays of a video game level up. Squiggle Darling trows one fist into the air in victory as another video game sound effect plays.

Squiggle Darling (to camera): Now you can somersault too!

CnH2n+1OH: Halt! Who goes there!

Squiggle Darling: We do!

Squiggle Darling cocks Lobsterella like a gun and lobsterella shoots a light waves from it's mouth. The color shifts from blue to red until it appears as a wave.

CnH2n+1OH: Oh!

Squiggle Darling (stamping her feet): Take me to the princess riiiiiiiiiiiiii-

While Squiggle Darling is pronouncing the elongated "right" Lobsterella flies over to CnH2n+1OH and unzips his costume revealing the princess.

Lobsterella: Look!

Squiggle Darling: -iiiiiiight Now!

Princess (falling to her knees): Please I only wanted to-

Squiggle Darling: Too late!

A net from off screen surrounds the princess. Squiggle Darling and Lobsterella High Five and drag the princess back to the castle, giggling.

Cut to: Castle Window Sill. The over sized king is playing connect four against a crow. Squiggle Darling and Lobsterella arrive knocking the connect four game off the window sill. The princess is in tow.

Over Sized King (surprised): My lovely daughter!

Squiggle Darling: It turns out it wasn't your daughter at all! It was the princess!

Over Sized King: Gasp!

While the king gasps the princess is quickly sucked into his mouth.

Cut to: Inside of the kings mouth. The princess spins and floats closer to the uvula that bares her resemblance. She leans in to kiss the uvula as the screen grows brighter. a pure white heart grows out of the space between their lips and fills the whole screen. Also: there are angels everywhere.

Fade to: Inside of the yellow house. Squiggle Darling is ejected from the door behind the door. She rolls on the ground. Lobsterella is ejected in her inanimate state and clacks to the ground as if she were wooden. Squiggle Darling's mother enters through the door on the left.

Mother: Oh darling! I didn't realize you were home from school already!

Squiggle Darling's mother picks up Squiggle Darling and holds her like a baby.

Mother: What did you do while Mommy was away?

Squiggle Darling: We saved the princess who lives in the door but she wasn't a princess at all she was just some dude's dog-

A portal through time and space appears and the REAL Squiggle Darling jumps out.

Squiggle Darling: The REAL Squiggle Darling: STOP! She's the IMPOSTOR! She came from five minutes in the future to foil our plan! Roundhouse Kick!

The REAL Squiggle Darling roundhouse kicks THE IMPOSTOR and THE IMPOSTOR disappears into a puff of smoke.

Mother: Oh Darling!

Zoom to: Close up of Squiggle Darling's face.

Squiggle Darling: Not you too!

Cut to: credits.

Loose Change: A few cents short of a dollar.

2007-01-11T13:14:00.000-08:00

I recently had the pleasure of viewing the very special Loose Change DVD. For those unfamiliar, it's a documentary about 9/11 and the conspiracy theories surrounding it. I recommend that everyone watches it. Then immediately after read the wikipedia page about it and realize the kids who made it were a bunch of fuck-ups that say a lot of things and prove nothing.

I just now "got" vlogging.

2006-12-29T22:47:00.000-08:00

Watch this video on youtube: IRONIC/SATIRICAL VIDEO ABOUT SARCASM THAT NOONE UNDERSTANDS
and then when that's over watch this follow up video: what have i done!?

This girl is either an amazing parody or is putting her most sacred emotions on display. Either way I finally "get" vlogging. It isn't about the Ze Franks or Rocketbooms, it's about people talking to other people. People making videos with itty bitty tiny audiences that are most likely their close friends. Once people start treating youtube like livejournal it going to explode.

More about Net Nuetralility

2006-12-19T11:56:00.000-08:00

This video better explains Net Neutrality. WATCH IT.

Obligitory Net Neutrality Post

2006-12-16T16:30:00.000-08:00

So this video about Net Neutrality is horrifying. I can't believe they'd be allowed to air such blatant propaganda. People are going to believe it too, despite that it offers no fact and is spouting pure lies. Not even half-truths or slanted opinions, the video is pure, simple lies.

If you're confused, watch this video: What is Net Neutrality

You thought we wouldn't notice.

2006-12-14T23:57:00.000-08:00

So I stumbled across http://www.youthoughtwewouldntnotice.com/ while researching that "Tagged" debacle over at threadless. It's a pretty cool little blog. It points out how often street art becomes part of mainstream culture. I enjoy seeing big business's interpretation of graffiti.

Speaking of, I'm surprised your friend and mine Poster Child hasn't been featured on there. Well, there's still time, I guess.

I think I just found my soulmate.

2006-12-14T16:15:00.001-08:00

HowManyOfMe.com

There are:
2
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

Real web developers don't use Dreamweaver.

2006-12-13T09:59:00.000-08:00

So this blog post made me furious. Here's a quick rundown:

A friend of mine just asked what I use to code my web sites and I triumphantly stated that I use Dreamweaver, a program that I deem one of the most fantastic pieces of software I’ve ever owned.

That's about all you need to know. This guy continues on to prove he doesn't know anything about HTML or Dreamweaver. He says basicly says that coding in Notepad makes more work for yourself. I'd argue the contrary. Dreamweaver creates so much excess code and such a headache for real web developers I can hardly image it being used in a professional environment, even though it's used quiet often. That's right, I just implied that real web developers don't use Dreamweaver, and it felt good.

I do agree with his point, however. Coding in Notepad is stupid. There's a million other free editors available that are much, much better. But Dreamweaver? Really? That's like telling someone the best way to drill a hole is with a jackhammer. The scariest part of the whole debacle is this statement made by one of his commenters:

I think it totally depends on the size and scope of the sites you are building. I could totally code everything by hand in notepad if I wanted to. But a lot of the sites I work on are large, and very complex. So I take advantage of all the tools available to me.

I don't understand why people think Dreamweaver is somehow better at handling large sites? If you're building a 60+ page site shouldn't you be more concerned with, oh I don't know, data management? Elegant navigation? Not producing 60+ pages of bloated, unmaintainable HTML?

Luckily some kids (Josh and Oliver, respectively) have their heads on straight and posted these comments:

I use Dreamweaver and I have used it for a long time, until I started a new job and I was required to use VIM or Emacs. Needless to say after using VIM for 2+ years, I prefer VIM over Dreamweaver any day.

and

At my friend’s suggestion I learnt to code in Notepad before I ever learnt to use DreamWeaver. Result? I know how to code decent mark-up and how to bug-hunt without relying on the software.

It doesn’t make you clever but it sure as hell helps you out to have a more rigorous environment when you’re starting out.

God, I can't believe this got Dugg.

UPDATE: The quote above was actually not from Edd, the original author of the article, but just a commenter. Now that's my bad. I changed it accordingly.

This blog is now about Apocalypto.

2006-12-13T01:00:00.001-08:00

Wired.com's Table of Malcontents had a great post about Apocalypto. Here's a clip:

MYTH: Mel Gibson is a homo.

FACT: Mel Gibson directs movies about mostly-naked men smeared in oil and blue paint who often run really fast so we can see their muscles flex or bend over and show off their ass cracks.

Apocalypto is quickly become this year's film to hate! Link

Mel Gibson is just a no good guy.

2006-12-10T18:21:00.000-08:00

I saw Apocalypto last night and there's something I don't understand. How is a film that consists solely of cardboard-thin characters being forced through a series of cliches getting such good reviews?

There's about 15 minutes of character development near the beginning of the film. Clever dialog, good characters and all that jazz. The rest of the film, however, is these said characters being tediously forced to move around in pure silence. The most likable character just disappears for nearly an hour. The first few minutes of the film doesn't provide us enough reason to care about these characters through the rest of the film. It just doesn't.

Also, the violence in the film moves quickly from shocking and grisly to humorous and unnecessary. Audience members were laughing more then gasping at, what should have been, a wanton display. Mel doesn't let up through the entire film, adding more and more unnecessary scenes of gore. By then end you hardly care about the characters since the film has already established that they are all disposable. Not to mention the fact that after 2 hours of watching gruesome acts you are so desensitized that nothing else they throw at you could possible shock or upset you.

How someone could sit down and write some of the scenes is beyond me. Scenes so improbable and over the top that Mel Blanc would blush. I have an indelible vision of Farhad Safinia wandering into the room and asking Mel Gibson "What's the worst thing that could happen to a woman in a well?" Mel Gibson thinks for a while and thoughtfully replies: "Childbirth, of course." I'm not joking here, folks.

Lastly, there is the incredable series of cliches the characters must endure. It's hardly worth mentioning here but I'll give you these three: Hero trapped in quicksand, Child trapped in well, Hero gets saved from becoming a human sacrifice by solar eclipse.

It seems to me that Mel Gibson has now produced two consecutive films that are nothing more the an expose of human suffering. Not as an artful display, or to make some kind of statement, but displays of suffering for pure entertainment. And that's why I think Mel is a no good guy.

Apocalypto; A Review in Six Words

2006-12-10T18:11:00.000-08:00

Mel Gibson creates irredeemably bad film. Zero stars.

Regina Spektor - Begin to Hope; A Review in Six Words

2006-12-09T03:00:00.000-08:00

Irresistible folk songs about vulnerability, cocaine.

Hello Goodbye - Zombies! Aliens! Vampires! Dinosaurs!; A Review in Six Words

2006-12-09T02:56:00.000-08:00

Hipsters, Scenesters create solid pop tunes. Four stars.

Fergie - The Dutchess; A Review in 6 Words

2006-12-08T19:43:00.000-08:00

Poorly spelled album lacks substance, replayability. Two and a quarter stars.

Gwen Stefani - The Sweet Escape; A Review in 6 Words

2006-12-08T19:39:00.000-08:00

Sounds catchy but ultimately proves otherwise. Three and a half stars.

Web 2.0 Reduces 15 Minutes. Now 15 Seconds.

2006-12-08T19:02:00.000-08:00

So Web 2.0 is changing the internet, right? We can all just uninstall our Words and Excels. We can shut down our HAM radios and recycle our Atlases. Web 2.0 beat us to the punch. We can now publish our videos on a global scale, get our radio broadcasts heard half-way around the world and sell our wares to the global marketplace.

This is all well and great but frankly, this much competition gives me complexes. My pitiful blog posts are up against the likes of Rands and Tom Coates. Thanks to myspace, the music I produce in my bedroom is being displayed next to MTV's latest sweethearts and I don't mean that in the good way. With all the content being produced, how do I possible set mine apart?

Can I?

No. But when has insurmountable odds ever stopped me.

Point is, I'm going to start blogging. Aren't you excited?

Testing Flock

2005-10-21T07:40:00.000-07:00

So I am totally testing out this fancy new FLOCK browser so I can browse the web 2.0 blogosphere via RSS and podcast. I wish I wasn't kidding.

Pretty neat huh? It takes all my bookmarks and puts them out for everyone to see! Isn't that funky? I think it's pretty funky!